My first tree!


My first tree!

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X’s is writing a book


I went to over for coffee and a chat on Wednesday morning before work. She was in good spirits she told me that she lived the the life of a shut-in and treated like a child. She stays in her room and stays out of the way. There is tension between her and her parents. X has her cat for companionship and she is keeping busy by editing her book. Never in my life did I believe that I would meet someone that would write a book. I tell her that she is the next famous tortured Russian novelist.  I asked her about how she is managing and she tells me that she gives her disability cheque to her parents to cover the expenses. Her hair had grown quite long from the last time that I saw her she has coloured it platinum blond and is looking slim and content, her arms are adorned in homemade bracelets that are reminiscent of summer camp. We watch Maury and laughed and tried to guess who the baby daddy is…

Her birthday is this Sunday and I plan to give her something, I just don’t yet what it will be…

Cut off my dreads


The End Result after my first shower + comb out

So yesterday after a lot debate and talk. I finally cut my hair.  My mother took me to the barber shoppe and was nice enough to pay. I have been growing the dreads since about the spring of 2001. I was not really bored with my hair I just did not see a way to progress it. I wanted something that would have me feeling new and renewed.

The hair cut is pretty drastic I have a fade now pretty much a boys hair cut. It does not take away from my looks as a girl because it accents my high cheekbones and chinky eyes. I have already received many compliment and because of facebook and blackberry the majority of my friends have already seen the do.

Me + the Barber
My Fallen Hair

The After

The only other two people that count that haven’t seen it are KG and JN. JN will definitely see it first online and KG will see it when we visit him at the end of the month. Their opinion’s matter to me but if they don’t like it tough.

The only thing that concerns me it how my camming will be affected by my new look, I know men have a thing for long hair but I guess I will just have to develop a new following or buy myself some wigs(NOT)

K is back on radar


He linked me via BBM a few days ago.We are on okay terms I just know that there is a tension on my part towards him now. The fire and the heat is still there but who knows how long that will last. I reached out to him today I did hear from him all day.

He told me that his day was fucked. I asked him what happened and he told me that a friend of his had died. In my mind I was like wow, this is the third person to die for him in the last 3 months. He still has not provided me the details surrounding any of the deaths. I am starting to wonder what is happening to these people that keep dropping like flies

K is now talking to "random" girls


So K was home on Friday and we cam to cam for the first time in a few weeks. While we were speaking I noticed that he was typing on his laptop. I asked him if he was working he replied, no “just a random girl” that set off alarm bells in my head. I said that my days are no numbered, he said “No. way” His actions lately have me convinced that I am no longer as interesting to him and he is now expanding his look outwards. He brought that it was no big deal and that since I cam it should make no difference to out dynamic.

I knew that the day would come that our distance would make a difference. I also recognize that thing happened very quickly between us and now the truth come out.

I am also jealous and being a little bit dramatic because I feel possessive and feeling possessive makes me want to let go. Whenever I feel a extreme emotion I want to walk away.

I will see how my emotions and how the interactions play out over the next few days.